"I Love You, I Love You!" The final words of Kurt Donald Cobain (1967-1994). On April 5th, 1994 in his home in Seattle, Washington, Kurt Cobain committed suicide by a self inflicted gunshot wound to the head.
Kurt Cobain is best known for being the lead singer, and lead guitarist for the band Nirvana. Cobain wrote all music and lyrics for Nirvana. Looking at his lyrics for the first time, they look like nothing more than random words put together. But many of his songs had a brutally controversial, deep meaning. Of course, teenagers at the time were not listening to the words in the song (not that they could understand them...) but listening to the music. The guitar, the bass, the drums, and to top it off Cobain's haunting howl. Most didn't know, or even care to find out, what Cobain was saying in his songs. One of the best things I have done in my life try and take the time to really understand his music. I say try, because there is no way to truly get inside of the twisted mind and the tortured soul of a man like Kurt Cobain.
One of my favorite Nirvana songs is "Polly" off of their album, Nevermind. Charles R. Cross, author of Heavier Than Heaven (a biography of Kurt Cobain) writes, "...A song like "Polly" found Kurt taking a newspaper clipping and crafting an emotional back story to go with the headline. The song, originally titled "Hitchhiker," had its roots in a real-life incident from 1987, when a young girl was kidnapped, brutally raped, and tortured with a blow torch. The song is written, surprisingly, from the perspective and in the voice of the perpetrator. Kurt managed to capture the horror of the rape ("let me clip dirty wings"), yet at the same time subtly pointed out the humanness of the attacker ("she's just as bored as me"). Its literary strength was that it concerned itself with internal dialogue...Kurt ends the song with a line that could stand as an epitaph for the rapist, the victim, or for himself: "It amazes me, the will of instinct." Bob Dylan picked "Polly" out of the entire Nirvana catalog as the most courageous song. Speaking of Cobain, Dylan says, "That kid has heart."
Kurt Cobain is best known for being the lead singer, and lead guitarist for the band Nirvana. Cobain wrote all music and lyrics for Nirvana. Looking at his lyrics for the first time, they look like nothing more than random words put together. But many of his songs had a brutally controversial, deep meaning. Of course, teenagers at the time were not listening to the words in the song (not that they could understand them...) but listening to the music. The guitar, the bass, the drums, and to top it off Cobain's haunting howl. Most didn't know, or even care to find out, what Cobain was saying in his songs. One of the best things I have done in my life try and take the time to really understand his music. I say try, because there is no way to truly get inside of the twisted mind and the tortured soul of a man like Kurt Cobain.
One of my favorite Nirvana songs is "Polly" off of their album, Nevermind. Charles R. Cross, author of Heavier Than Heaven (a biography of Kurt Cobain) writes, "...A song like "Polly" found Kurt taking a newspaper clipping and crafting an emotional back story to go with the headline. The song, originally titled "Hitchhiker," had its roots in a real-life incident from 1987, when a young girl was kidnapped, brutally raped, and tortured with a blow torch. The song is written, surprisingly, from the perspective and in the voice of the perpetrator. Kurt managed to capture the horror of the rape ("let me clip dirty wings"), yet at the same time subtly pointed out the humanness of the attacker ("she's just as bored as me"). Its literary strength was that it concerned itself with internal dialogue...Kurt ends the song with a line that could stand as an epitaph for the rapist, the victim, or for himself: "It amazes me, the will of instinct." Bob Dylan picked "Polly" out of the entire Nirvana catalog as the most courageous song. Speaking of Cobain, Dylan says, "That kid has heart."
By breaking down Cobain's suicide note, like Cross did "Polly" one can see the simplicity of Cobain's last words. It is his grand gesture, his final goodbye to his daughter, Frances Bean. In the note Cobain states that he believes that him leaving the world will be a good thing for his daughter. He may have left this world with his family in mind, but I believe that subconsciously he was thinking of himself. He was depressed and on drugs, he was obviously not in a clear state of mind. I believe that he took his life to rid himself of all of the inner pain he had. I also believe that he convinced himself that he was taking his life to help his daughter, so he would not feel as guilty. I know that he loved his daughter, you could see it in his eyes, you could see it in his smile, and you could see it in the way he lit up when she was around him. I believe that Kurt Cobain's last words, "I Love You, I Love You!" were meant for Frances. Subconsciously I believe that he knew he was doing this for himself, not her. The "I Love You, I Love You!" was his way of subtly telling his daughter that it was not about her, it was about him and what he thought he had to do. Like Bob Dylan said, the kid had heart, and it's too bad that he was the only one who couldn't see it.
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